Matryoshka

Age of 0 

we are learning for crying 

why born baby is start crying instead of giggle ?

but our parents is in happiness

i wish

Age of 1 

we are learning for walking 

first step when we stand by ourself

age of 2 

we are learning for talking

first language we speak to understand peoples

age of 5

we are learning to sing, play and read 

first things we start what the live is

age of 10

we are learning to attach , first thing we start to like people

age of 20

we are learning to be adult 

first thing we have responsible for live 

age of 30 

we are learning to be parents

age of 50

we are learning to feel alive 

age of 80

we are learning understand who we are since 0

kuis siapa benar? siapa salah?

jika ada sebuah kuis berhadiah

jika benar hadiahnya triliunan 

dapat mengubah dirimu dalam semalam,

namun jika salah pun kamu pun bisa dapat voucher makan gratis direstoran ayam cepat saji seumur hidup

nothing to lose bukan?

pertanyaanya sederhana :

mana yang lebih dahulu datang ke bumi?

telur atau ayam?

jika anda berpikir telur lebih dahulu

karena logikanya, ayam tak mungkin ada jika telur tidak menetas 

jika anda berpikir ayam lebih dahulu

karena logikanya, telur tak mungkin ada jika tidak ada induk ayam

ada lagi jika anda berpikir sangat logis

ayam dan telur tidak datang terlebih dahulu, tapi molekul molekul sel sel mahluk hidup duluan lah yang membentuk keduanya

ada lagi jika anda berpikir tidak peduli

karena logikanya, untuk apa di perdebatkan?

bukankah telur dan ayam sama?

sama sama jadi hidangan menu tiap hari

untuk itu siapakah pemenangnya?

hadiah triliunan itu ? 

semua tanpak benar dengan jawabanya

caranya mudah 

yang duluan itu egg o mu 

kamu protes:  mana ada jawaban egg o mu

dan hadiah triliunan itu tak ada yang benar

terus bagaimana dengan jawaban yang salah ? 

jika semua merasa benar maka yang lain tampaklah salah  

semua dapat voucher makan gratis seumur hidup

nikmatilah, jangan patah semangat

bisa coba kuis selanjutnya 

siapa tahu beruntung?

Jiwa Jiwa Manusia yang gundah

jiwa jiwa manusia?

mengapa engkau merana

engkau terlihat tidak baik baik saja

ada apa gerangan?

apa engkau merasakan sakit?

mengapa begitu?

kau punya rumah tuk berteduh

tapi kenapa kau menginginkan rumah lainya?

jiwa jiwa manusia

jika engkau sakit 

mengapa energimu kau habiskan

tuk menyakiti orang lain ?

dikala energi itu bisa digunakan tuk menyembuhkan

ketika engkau merasa gundah

melihat kebahagiaan jiwa lainya

ketahuilah mereka sama gundah

hidupnya , hidupmu berliku liku

bukankah dunia ini fatamorgana?

namun ketika engkau tertawa

melihat kegundahan lainya 

mengapa begitu?

bahagia diatas derita orang lain

apa masih ada jiwa disana?

atau jiwamu telah mati?

meski ragamu hidup

hidup akan berlaku sama 

bahagia dan sedih

sehat dan sakit

datang dan pergi

waktu berdetak sama

pukul 1-12 dan begitu seterusnya

namun waktu berhenti berbeda

masihkan gundah itu ada kala itu?

oh jiwa shinta yang berarti tenang

kemanakah gerangan?

My Victory

on Friday i was shared videos to you from instagram to whatsapp

friday to sunday you haven't checked yet my text, 

before on wednesday you told me you will spend time with friends on weekend

today on Monday afternoon 

you asked me how was my day?

i said my day been good and i asked how yours?

you told me your day not interesting

but had fun with friends on weekend

if you know my day still interesting when

text you or when you start text me first again 

even if you aren't think the same

in time you dont text me also my day still interesting 

my day at my job is interesting 

its fun like play strategic and planning game

sometimes i have team player for working in team to solved cases

and my day with my hobby is interesting 

its fun to create a legacy in form of painting, and clay figure and im so excited 

to try another new arts, as human 

i would like to left my legacy

so people can remember me when they saw 

it

you make me realize that i always try to understand my family and friends also, but 

can't force them if they dont feel that way from me

i have many homework to socialize even its about hang out with peoples 

and since without you, iam learning to find myself , iam starting seeing bigger picture, 

previously in 2 years my world is only about you and me

if you know i missed our past moments

when you trying help me for being positive self concious, and when i can share many things with you

i think for helping you also, to keep you still have positive concious when you feel down, pesimist or sad till you feel better and optimist again.

you told me before to remember 10 things makes me grateful when iam sad and 10 things focus in my surrounding when iam worry and told me that i can do thing i want,

iam trying to practice that, i hope you also

if you know in my eyes , you have some luck and blessed in life, i hope those are luck still with you and you can see that also and even you can see that, you might share to me if you feel down i would try to help with cheer you up, or companion to support or try to give you hug, advise or solution 

even its only in my wish your energy and mood is rising when i tried to help, likewise when you are with friends and family i saw you seems so happy, had blast and forget your mood swing

if i cant make you forget your moody

at least i have tried my best and i also will tried for myself 

hej hej me, take care ya

I Should not Overthink too much about you 🤗

Iam asking you 

Did you notice me on you instagram 

you haven't replied 

iam confess my feeling 

for all things about you is matter 

iam still get emotional

you told me "dont overthink too much 🤗"

how can you said that

i do care and mind everything you did to me

I Should not overthink too much about you

about why you slow reapond

about you not replied your mom and my 

comment

but replied other girls 

i should not overthink too much about you

about you are not initiate to text me first 

about how your feeling for me

i should not overthink too much about you

about we arent together like before

about you might like other girl now

or about you moved away on me 

could we back as we first met

some years ago

when i was looking for love in my life

you came and offer me love 

love i wanted 

love i never felt before 

treated me like queen

could we back like we first met ?

as you wanted me 

as you missed me

as time is ours 

could we back like we first met ?

as we are found each other than lose it

love that you offered me

could it stay and not faded

could we back like we first met?

even we are bored , can we keep this love ?

but now your heart is leaving

i wish you back 

how long will i be 

wishing you like we first met?

lost is not easy to deal with

heart and mind keep echoing your name

even life is temporary

could i wish eternity love ?

which never fade of times 

my Allah tells me

call upon me

TNT

my heart is itching

when i think you with someone else

when will you understand ?

my jealousy is to protect of mine 

not my insecurity

dont you remember when we first met?

when we both feels same way

iam mad , like thunder

because i really do cares

i dont want you smile a lot with other girls 

i just want you show that only to me

im happy see you happy 

even when iam not include there 

but another part of me is craking

and your name like tornado is spinning 

around my mind

you know i told you my feelings

and no respond is a valid respond

you dont chasing me 

you dont try to reach me again

like you is okay for losing me 

feels its only me living in heartbreak

in our memories

its TNT exploid me